In a previous post, I talked about the power of forgiveness. Today, I intend to make a case for starting a “forgive and forget” practice and why you should do so in the first place?
When it comes to forgiving, no one said it’s easy!
But if you don’t forgive and forget, then you’re continuing to let the same thing that broke you once break you all over again.
I certainly had my fair share of events that tested my forgiveness muscle, but I did notice one thing… The longer I carried the wound(s) of those events, the longer they stay alive.
In her book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, the author Karol K. Truman did a fantastic job explaining how the energy of difficult and sometimes tragic events affects us on a long-term basis. I highly encourage you to read her book if you want to further your understanding of that topic.
But today, I aim to help you have a “forgive and forget” game plan!
A plan that you can easily follow and implement!
Are you ready to welcome the renewed energy of forgiving and forgetting?
I hope you said YES, cause your life is about to change.
While forgiveness might be of the hardest things to do, yet it’s the most positive thing, too!
I am sure you’re thinking “Zane, wait! What?”
Hear me out…
When you forgive and forget, you’re saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new.
The act of forgiveness marks the beginning of a new chapter.
That in and itself is a positive thing that’s worth celebrating.
And, YES! I am one of these annoyingly extremely optimistic people. Trust me, that’s the only reason I made it this far. Cause if I let my past and the pain and suffering I witnessed growing up in a warzone in Iraq control me, let’s just say it’d be hard for me to even get out of bed.
But I digress…
You see, forgiveness does not change the past, but it definitely affects the future.
We’ve all heard it a thousand times “Forgiveness is good for you.” But when we are hurt, forgiving just seems almost unnatural.
I know, TRUST me!
First, let’s make a key distinction that’ll help you digest forgiveness easier.
When you forgive and forget, you’re not condoning what happened. You’re simply saying that you acknowledge that XYZ happened and that you’re willingly choosing to let it go, so it no longer controls you.
Sometimes, saying letting go might be easier than forgiving and forgetting. But let’s not get too technical here.😃
See, people walk around carrying all the pain they endured thought their entire life. And we wonder why depression is so high!
Let’s not be part of the statistics that TV shows and news anchor love to report on. Let’s take personal responsibility over our own wellbeing and let the past go.
Below you’ll find not one but 7 reasons why you should forgive and forget even if part of you doesn’t want to.
1. Forgiveness Restores Your Inner Peace
Imagine how wonderful life can be if you woke up each morning giddy with excitement!
Well, that’s how we woke up as children, and I don’t see any good reason why we can’t do that as adults.
Children’s natural state of being is always seeking the return to inner peace. I.e., The child gets hungry; the child cries, the child eats, the child is happy again. (Excellent system to return to inner-peace)
Somehow as adults, we forgot that our natural state is to return to peace.
Sadly, most adults wake up feeling crappy cause they’re reliving the same drama and sometimes trauma of the day before.
If that’s how you’re waking up currently, there is no judgment here, only love & awareness.
So, if you find yourself starting your day with the residual heaviness of the day before, then it’s time to change.
First, identify the cause of why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling.
Most of the time, it’s an inner conflict within you. Something or someone has disturbed your inner state of peacefulness. Causing you to harbor feelings of resentment towards yourself or another person. This lowers your vibration and keeps you stuck in fear, anger, judgment, and shame.
These states are never positive, and due to their low vibrational nature, you keep attracting the same stuff that caused you to feel that way in the 1st place.
It’s time that you forgive yourself and return to peace! When you accomplish that, then forgive whoever caused you to feel conflicted in the 1st place. It’s safe for you to give yourself permission to heal, forget and move forward.
2. Forgiveness Brings You Peace of Mind
When you forgive, you shift your focus from the negative to the positive.
Obsessing over negative people or events from the past doesn’t erase the past. All it does is rob your present (The NOW) and disturb your inner peace.
So keep your eyes focused on things that are meaningful to you in the present moment.
It’s ok to feel your emotions but it’s not ok to let those emotions take permanent residence in your heart and mind.
Say goodbye to hate/anger/resentment! Let the mistakes of others vanish with time. Forgive and forget, and allow peace of mind to return to you.
3. Forgiveness Opens You Up to Love
Life revolves around relationships. Whether it’s romantic, family, friends, co-workers, or even strangers, we have interaction all the time.
Nowadays, interactions are not exclusive to just in person; in this digital age, we are more connected than ever.
And while that has its own pros, it comes with some very hefty cons.
When we are interacting all the time with people around us, misunderstandings are bound to happen! We’re all humans, after all.
To avoid misunderstanding, it’s key to clear things up right away with open communication and forgiveness.
If something feels off, don’t jump to conclusions or assumptions. Clarify immediately instead.
Assumptions can negatively impact any relationship! And when those assumptions are left unaddressed, a simple misunderstanding can lead to distrust and eventually might end the relationship altogether.
This has left many brokenhearted due to one thing or another.
So, the simple act of clarifying alone can save you so much headache.
Combine that with forgiving when miscommunication occurs, and you can’t help but feel more heart-centered. Also, forgiveness increases your capability to be compassionate and to love without holding grudges or judgments.
To learn how to build friendships based on honesty and understanding, please read this article.
4. Forgiveness Helps You Grow
As you grow older and hopefully wiser, you’ll experience negative things/events done to you by others. Sometimes done by people who claim to love you.
And while it’s painful to go through those experiences, continuing to relive them is flat out harmful.
When you hold on to trauma, and hurt done to you by others, you close your heart-chakra.
The heart chakra is your center for love and compassion. You really don’t want to close it up by continuing to hold to grudges and painful experiences. So be open and willing to reclaim your power.
Open yourself to the healing power of “forgive and forget,” and open your heart to love again. This has a very empowering effect as it helps you grow stronger and more resilient.
5. Forgiveness Restores Hope
Children are gifted with the ability to see the good in everyone and every situation. What a hopeful attitude!
Also, the gift of forgiveness comes more naturally to children.
A child would accept an apology and resume life unchanged. We can learn a thing or two from children when it comes to forgiving.
Sadly, over time, as children experience more disappointments, like the rest of us, they lose those gifts.
But all hope is not lost! Because through forgiveness, we all can attain that childlike selfless love once again.
You see, forgiveness frees you from the burdens of the past. In addition, forgiving helps you master your emotions.
And when you clear your mind of the emotional poisons through forgiveness, you return to that child-like naivety again!
By forgiving yourself and other, you restore your hope, With more hope you can face anything life throws your way.
Be the change you’d like to see in others. Lead by example! Forgive and forget and move forward with love.
Related Articles: How to heal your inner child and return to peace?
6. Forgiveness Strengthen Compassion
When you practice forgiveness, you stop holding people hostage to their shortcomings/discretions.
As you continue forgiving people and seeing them as fellow humans, you strengthen your compassion towards others.
Remember we are all humans, and we’re all doing our best.
Stop searching for perfection, it doesn’t exist. Also, accept that people are humans and sometimes they have problems.
Do your best and forget the rest. Forgive and forget. Live and let live.
7. Forgiveness Helps You See The Big Picture and Beyond
When you’re focused on all the drama and trauma that life and people might’ve caused you, you’re stuck in the past.
If you keep looking back at your pain from the past, and relive it, then you’re prisoned by it!
Here’s an alternative to help you break out of that prison.
When you remember a past even, simply honor it and then release it.
Imagine it as if it’s a balloon, and you simply let it go. You’re moving forward in new and liberated ways.
Releasing the past liberates you in the present moment. When you’re present, you can imagine, create and transform.
The future belongs to those who are present and creative.
You can’t be creative when you’re too attached to what wrong had fallen upon you in the past. Time to forgive and forget NOW!
Creativity is a high vibrational energy that comes to those who are tapped into the power of presence.
Learn from your past mistakes, but don’t relive them again. Gain perspective, but keep your eyes focused on the big picture! Let the past go. Forgive and move forward mindfully!
So, my friend, my invitation for you today is to be open to the idea of forgiveness.
Acknowledge your emotions, honor your struggle, but also learn to let the past stay in the past.
Forgive in the now, and allow the future to unfold gracefully.
Thank you for reading! Please let me know in the comments below what other reasons that you find important to forgive and forget.
With lots of Luv,
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