Within each and every one of us is an inner child.
It’s time to give that child the time of day!
In this article, I’ll share with you the step by step formula to bring healing to that inner child.
Learning how to heal your inner wounded child is essential for your growth.
We are continuously changing!
And sometimes when we neglect past events, they get stuck within us, especially childhood traumas and issues.
In this article, I am going to share with you a self-healing exercise.
My mission is to help you tap into your inner child and heal any wounds or traumas that you might’ve experienced.
As a life and transformational coach, I am BLESSED to work with people from all over the world; people from different backgrounds, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and languages.
One thing I noticed is that no matter the background, your inner child plays a significant role in your adult life.
That’s when I started to pay attention to healing the child within.
As an adult, the more you’re in touch with your inner child, the better your experience in life would be.
Many of us as adults, we carry emotional pain from a difficult childhood.
As a child, those experiences influence our subconscious mind and the way we show up in this world:
Here are a few examples:
- A male or female authority figure, “i.e., parent, teacher, grandparent” reprimands as a child. And As a child, you couldn’t process the anger that resulted from the event. So subconsciously you become more hostile towards authority figures.
- Children at school made fun of your hair, looks, body features, or other things. That event triggered you to grow up thinking you are unworthy or you’re less than.
- A parent neglected you when you were a child. So, then you grow up blaming yourself as a child thinking your parent is ignoring you cause you don’t matter.
- In extreme cases where the child been abused verbally, physically, sexually, emotionally, or mentally, feelings of anger and rage, powerlessness and fear, and a sense of utter betrayal are exhibited.
As a child, it’s really hard to deal with these strong emotions, let alone process and heal them. As a result, these heavy emotions get lodged deep into your subconscious mind.
Note: Please seek professional therapy or advice if you’re suffering from childhood abuse.
Before I share with you how to work with and heal that inner child, let me give you an idea of what your inner child represents.
What’s The Inner Child?
Your inner child is part of your overall personality.
It might be hanging out in the shadows of the self, but it’s still part of you none the less.
Your inner child still exists within you as an adult.
And unless you take a proactive role in healing any past wounds from childhood, then don’t be surprised if dramas and chaos continue to follow you.
You see when we hold on to our inner child’s wounds we continue to carry their vibration with us.
And by the virtue of The Law of Attraction, then we continue to re-live them because their energy is still within us.
When I learned that fact, I made it my mission as a coach to help as many people meet and heal their inner child.
It’s time to let go of fears, and issues that might be affecting your current present and even your future.
How To Find The Wounded Child Patterns
As children, when we go through any emotionally charged events, we feel those emotions even more than our adults’ counterparts.
As children, our mental faculty is not fully developed yet, so we feel everything even more intensified.
So, strong emotions such as anger, betrayal, judgment, abuse, rage, and other heavy feelings when left suppressed over a lifetime, they affect the way we view the world.
So in order to heal the child within, we must address the past that contributed to it in the first place.
Going on a trip down memory lane and exploring events that might’ve affected our childhood is the solution.
For me, it’s an event that I witnessed at age five at my 1st month at school.
I saw an authority figure abuse a child and as a helpless child myself I couldn’t understand why that event even happened.
For those who don’t know me yet, I grew up in the war-torn country of Iraq in the 80s.
My county at the time was run by a dictatorship regime.
So I couldn’t report that authority figure for fear of prosecution against my family and me.
In Iraq, speaking ill of authority could get you and your entire family to be wiped out of the face of the earth without any questioning.
I carried the weight of that event with me until I was 30 years old.
Thankfully, with the help of a few kind people, I was able to face that ugly past and heal it.
If you’re not aware of the tragedies that occurred in Iraq, a quick google search will show you the ugly reality I lived with as a child.
As I grew up in Iraq, I was as such a rebel in my early teens and 20s.
To this date, I always advocate for the rights of those who I feel are unheard.
I didn’t understand why I was such a rebel until I learned about the wounded child within and how, when left unaddressed, it could lead to long-term issues.
So I invite you to look at your past childhood today!
Look at what patterns are leaving you clues that you might benefit from healing those patterns.
Now, here are a few things to keep in mind when healing the inner child:
1. Going down memory lane to an event that is emotionally charged might bring up intense feelings. Simply, slow the process down and take it easy.
2. Addressing childhood traumas is not a sprint; it’s more of a slow walk down memory lane where you observe the past without judgment.
3. If doing this process is too emotionally charged, then it’s best to do this work with a trained counselor or join an emotional support group in your area.
4. The purpose of this work is not to relive the past but to release the past. When we release long-held inner child emotions, feelings of anger, rage, betrayal, and other emotions, healing of the adult you occur.
5. In cases of abuse, confronting the abuser might not be the best action.
Why you might ask?
- Most abusers, when they committed their acts were either under the influence of alcohol or drugs or when having a mental breakdown episode like a psychotic breakdown.
- So when confronted, they don’t have any recollection of the event in the first place.
- Also, most abusers live in a state of denial, so when confronted by the person they abused, they just deny that it happened in the first place.
6. Healing the child within is not meant to condone or accept the behavior of the abuser. It’s simply a healing act for you to release the hurtful behavior from the past and to welcome your future with open arms.
7. If you’re expecting an apology from your abuser, I am sorry to burst your bubble, as most abusers won’t do so, remember they are in denial. So do whatever you get to do to heal you. The acts of the abuser incurred karma, and it’ll be taken care of properly without you needing to carry the weight of that event on your consciousness.
8. Your primary focus is on healing yourself rather than punishing the person who abused you.
Remember, in order to heal the child within, pay attention to the patterns that appear in your life.
Now that you understand what your inner child is, how to find past patterns, what emotional inner child healing is and what it’s not, then now it’s time to dive into the AHA Method I use to help re-align your inner child with the highest form of adult you.
The AHA Method: 3 Steps-Formula To Healing Your Inner Child
A – Accept the past
H – Heal the past
A – Appreciate the past
Doing these inner child healing modalities is a great addition and a complement to any therapy or counseling you may already be doing.
Now let’s get to the details of the AHA method.
A- Accept The Situation:
The situation in and itself is neither good or bad. It’s simply an experience.
Start by closing your eyes, and connecting to your inner child.
When you feel a sense of connection, start asking your inner child the following questions:
- How are you feeling right now?
- What emotions are you experiencing when you remember a past experience or event?
- How is that past affecting my current reality?
- Am I reliving my childhood all over again as an adult?
It’s been helpful to have a photograph of yourself as a child when doing this exercise. Also having a childhood symbol can be beneficial to trigger memories: i.e., childhood teddy bear, or your childhood blanket.
Comfort the child within by holding the teddy or the blanket and express your love to that child by humming, singing, rocking, or otherwise doing anything you’d be doing bring peace to an actual child under stress.
H – Heal The Situation:
What You Feel, You Can Heal!
As children, when we experienced the events, we shut them down.
They were so painful that we didn’t want to accept that we experienced them in the first place.
I remember how I shut down that event that I witnessed at age 5 and buried it deep into my memories until I was well into my 30s.
So to heal the child within, we must feel the feelings and process them.
Permit your adult-self to feel your inner child’s feelings.
Be open and flow with the process.
Cry, scream, and do whatever you feel guided to do in order to process the buried emotions and bring them to the surface.
I always set the intention of healing when I do this exercise.
Whatever painful feelings or emotions you may experience, please remember to remain kind and compassionate towards yourself.
Value all those heavy feelings and acknowledge them.
Refrain from judgment, feeling of shame or guilt; you were meant to feel the feelings not LABEL them.
Here’s an old healing mantra from Hawaii that I love to use for healing past traumas, it goes as follows:
I am sorry,
Please forgive me,
I love you!
I find this mantra quite soothing. The mantra is called ho’oponopono healing.
To learn more about ho’oponopono, please watch this video below:
A – Appreciate The Situation:
Know as an adult that the experience you had as a child is simply meant to teach you a valuable lesson.
No matter how painful an event is, it was meant to teach our soul a spiritual lesson. Don’t deny yourself that gift!
With that understanding, start to gain the trust of your inner child by affirming the following mantra daily:
I am LOVED and Validated.
Right now, I am healed, and all my past is released to Divinity.
I let go of any feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and neglect.
And so be it, and so it.
Don’t be surprised if your inner child feels a lack of trust towards adult you.
Simply re-affirm to that child that you acknowledge that the child within might’ve been ignored or suppressed but not anymore.
Reassuring your child within is simply reassuring yourself that you are here now for that child and it’s time to feel safe!
It’s essential that your inner child trusts you and feels your appreciation for what he/she had to endure as a child.
So trust your instincts when doing this work!
Here’s another mantra to help:
Do this as many times as need until your inner child gradually learns to trust you.
With time, the child within will learn that adult you is the parent, friend, or companion that your inner child never had.
What a great feeling when the child within and the adult without are aligned!
So there you have it, dear friends!
You can work on healing your inner child, but you must commit to doing these exercises.
I recommend working with them weekly until you establish new feelings of trust and respect for yourself.
I personally work with these crystals and usually recommend them when doing emotional release work with others.
An amethyst is a wonderful crystal for anxiety!
So when working with your inner child, let this powerful crystal aid you in releasing anxiety and allowing joy to flow in your life.
Set the intention to release stress from past events that happened in your childhood. Let go of all that no longer serve you.
Also, amethyst is great for clearing third eye chakra from any past life traumas.
An amazing heart healer and opener of the heart chakra.
This stone aids in forgiveness and releasing heavy emotional scars.
When healing the child within, I sleep with rose quartz under my pillow.
This helps surround that child within, with the energy and vibration of love.
Quartz especially clear quartz is great for releasing stagnant vibration.
So when releasing old emotions, clear quartz work as an amplifier aiding in expediting the release process.
This stone is great for clearing the crown chakra for full alignment.
Remember to TRUST the process!
When your child within begins to trust you, make it your life mission never to let that child feel abandoned again.
When the child within feels heard and the emotions are processed, a shift occurs within you.
Once that shift takes hold, the outer world starts to reflect your new inner reality.
The biggest AHA that comes to people when they heal their inner child is that they start to feel protected.
The feeling of protection and nurture is what the child withing longed for all along.
In some cases, people report feeling like they found themselves after years of being lost or abandoned.
This is very powerful, so I invite you to work with your child within and may the healing commence.
With love and light,
For more articles like this one please visit these links:
- The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty
- The Power of Forgiveness and Journaling.
- What Is The Connection Between Your Personality and Colors