How to Deal With Everyday Loneliness

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Before I dive in, I want to let you know that loneliness is totally normal! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s awesome that you’re taking action to learn how to deal with everyday loneliness!

We’re going to go over exactly that in this article, but I don’t mean just “keeping yourself busy,” but really eradicating that loneliness from your life.

Sounds crazy? Well, it’s possible.

It’s definitely not an easy feat to accomplish, but believe it or not, it’s pretty simple once you know how.

Now, before I can explain how to deal with loneliness, let’s start off by explaining what loneliness is in the first place, sounds good?

Let’s get started!

What Is Loneliness, Really?

Let's explain what loneliness really is.

Now, this can’t really be explained easily because to be honest, loneliness might mean different things for you and me.

With that being said, there are a few ways to explain loneliness in a general sense, the first you might think of is something along the lines of… “Being alone.”

Stop! That’s not true.

The first point I need to make is that being alone is NOT the same as being lonely. Although there’s definitely a case to be made for the evolutionary need of human interaction, this isn’t mutually exclusive.

In other words, you can enjoy company, but that doesn’t mean you have to dislike being alone.

The truth is, being alone is totally fine! Being lonely, however, is not being able to stand the company of yourself. Just let that sink in…

Being lonely is not being able to stand the company of your own mind.

Now that’s not to say that your mind is out to get you, but just like every other human being out there, it’s definitely a little out of control.

The good news is that when you want to deal with everyday loneliness, everything happens within you. In other words, you already have everything you need to deal with loneliness.

So let’s rephrase the idea a little… What you’re really trying to achieve here is to be at ease when your mind wanders, because that’s what happens when we’re alone, right?

So, now, how do we deal with the company of our own minds? It’s not as hard as you might think! You’ve only got to take three simple steps…

How to Deal with Everyday Loneliness in 3 Simple Steps

1. Release the Fear of Being Alone

To deal with loneliness, we've got to stop fearing it.

The first reason people become lonely is really the anticipation of being alone. In other words, people are afraid of being alone and as a consequence, they end up feeling worse!

The first step anyone has to take is to reduce the fear of being alone.

Remember, being alone is not being lonely. Don’t fear being alone if you want to deal with everyday loneliness because the truth is, being alone is often not only unavoidable but good. There’s no better time for self-reflection than alone time!

If you’re afraid of being alone, you’re going to do your best to avoid it, but when it inevitably happens… Well, things are going to be much worse than they need to be.

So don’t fear being alone!

It’s natural, and oftentimes much more beneficial than harmful.

2. Stop Fighting Your Thoughts

Letting your thoughts flow naturally is key. Reacting to them is your decision after all!

This is probably the biggest misconception about mindfulness out there, especially when it comes to meditation.

You should never try to fight your thoughts. Instead, let them flow.

Just like a young troublemaker, if you fight with your mind, it’ll only fight back harder and stronger. If you want to deal with everyday loneliness, you’re going to have to relinquish the need to fight your own thoughts.

In other words, you have to let go of the fact that you don’t have absolute, total control over your mind… Simply put, you’ve just got to let those thoughts flow through you!

As you let them flow, your mind will eventually adapt to your indifference and stop bombarding you with constant thoughts or “noise.”

Instead, it will be much more likely to only act when you will it!

Now, we can never expect to consciously control absolutely every thought that crosses our minds, but we can control how we react.

That’s what differentiates a blissful, mindful person from a stressed, negative person.

The blissful person has much greater control over themselves, whereas the negative person is consistently fighting their own mind.

Let your thoughts flow!

3. Meditate and Develop Your Mindfulness

To deal with loneliness, learn to develop your mindfulness!

Mindfulness is key.

It really is, you have to develop yourself to a point where being alone is the equivalent of being in the company of a wonderful person!

Now probably the best way for most people to develop mindfulness effectively and fast is through meditation.

In particular, meditative practices reminiscent of Zen Buddhism and traditional Yoga are perfect for this.

Read More: What Is Meditation… Really?

The reason meditation is so important is because it helps you achieve a state of inner peace.

It is the key to peace of mind, even if you can only do it for 10 to 15 minutes every other day, it makes a huge difference.

Peace of mind means so much it’s amazing!

Once you achieve a state of mindfulness, your mind will be much, much more at ease.

As a matter of fact, you will probably be blown away at the difference daily meditation can make in a few weeks’ time or less when it comes to dealing with everyday loneliness.

So remember to meditate, it might be uncomfortable at first, but as you meditate, you’ll learn to love the company of the kind, beautiful soul that you are!

How to Deal with Everyday Loneliness in a Nutshell

Remember, loneliness isn't the same as being alone.

Let’s recap.

Before you can take steps, you have to first acknowledge that being alone is not being lonely. Once you understand that aspect of it all, it becomes much easier to truly deal with loneliness.

Now, the first step is releasing the fear of being alone that’s inherently inside of all of us.

Now, this isn’t easy, but with time and dedication, you can definitely achieve it! Releasing this fear is one of the biggest aspects of dealing with everyday loneliness.

Guided Meditation for Releasing Fear:

Next up is learning to let your thoughts flow through you, no matter their content. This is absolutely essential, especially when it comes to step number 3 (meditation).

You have to let your thoughts flow, otherwise, you’re going to cause internal chaos between your mind and your inner self… But if you let them flow through you peacefully, the mind will naturally adapt and become in and of itself more peaceful!

Finally, remember to meditate and develop your mindfulness!

Dealing with loneliness is just another way of saying “being at peace with your mind.” If you can remain mindful of the wonderful being that you are right now, you’re going to see that feeling of loneliness vanish as if by magic.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being alone!

Xoxo,
Zane