“Talking to people is simple, right? I mean, you just speak your mind and that’s about it…” Is what most people probably think, but the reality is much deeper!
The mind is one of the most complex miracles of the universe. It’s no wonder it acts in very strange ways sometimes.
To talk to people can be both one of the most daunting and mundane endeavors out there.
If you want to find out how to talk to people the right way and become a more likable, genuine person, you’ve come to the right place!
But before we dive into the real, actionable and straightforward tips, let’s go over the psychology of human communication a little bit.
The Psychology of Talking to People
First thing’s first, human beings, whether by design or evolution, are naturally social creatures.
As a matter of fact, we need social interaction so much that being totally solitary is literally a torture method…
So if humans are so naturally social, why is it so difficult, especially for introverted people, to just talk to someone sometimes?
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The reason is that, due to both nature and nurture, we’re conditioned to fear to talk.
Seriously! Think about it, ever since we were kids we were told only to speak when spoken to. Add to that the shyness or fear of being embarrassed after speaking your mind and you’ve got a perfect storm to grow too afraid to talk to people.
Of course, this conditioning isn’t even close to reality…
What Really Happens When You Talk to People
Of course, the truth is wildly different.
Although we’re conditioned as kids, most of those gained habits are completely pointless as we mature.
In other words, it’s almost never wrong to speak your mind (politely of course). It’s the same when it comes to talking to people on a regular, daily basis.
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To illustrate my point, let me ask you this: When was the last time you ever really laughed at someone just speaking their mind?
Chances are, you don’t even remember if it ever happened to begin with.
In reality, it’s the same for almost everybody!
A lot of the time it’s the contrary, too. People that aren’t afraid to speak their minds often come across as confident, headstrong leaders.
Those confident speakers aren’t much different from you and me, they just know!
They know that psychologically, people don’t react to how we fear they will.
When you want to talk to people, keep in mind that by literally just trying, you’re already making a positive impression!
Now that you further understand the psychology of it all, let’s talk about how you can talk to people with energy and most importantly, confidence!
How to Talk to People with Confidence
When reading about developing confidence, it’s super easy to fall into a spiral of sadness… You might be told that people are born with confidence.
That’s not at all true!
Of course, genetics plays a role in almost everything, but when it comes to character traits, it’s all about your mind… And as you probably know, with diligent mindfulness practice, you can change anything about your mind.
Wait! That’s a bold claim, I know. You might not believe me at first, just check out the Iceman who took it a step further and learned to not only control his mind, but his body to extents previously thought impossible. If he can do that, you bet you can talk to people with confidence!
The point is, even if you’re the most introverted, quiet, awkward and least talkative person on Earth, you can develop the confidence to talk to anyone and everyone.
Whether it be a one-on-one conversation or a keynote speech to thousands of people, you can do it, and I’m going to explain how.
It’s much simpler than you might think…
The Secret to Developing Confidence
If you want to talk to people and build those ever-important relationships and connections, you need to be confident.
Now, there really is a secret to doing this. However, to be honest, developing confidence is one of those things that you just have to do.
There are a few steps you need to take to develop confidence. The first is to, well, completely forget what you think you know about your own confidence if you think it’s low.
The simple truth is that confidence is much less of a personality trait and much more of a skill.
On the inside, we’re all very similar.
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What differentiates a confident person and a regular, shy person is not character, but skill. Speaking with confidence is a skill!
In that case, wouldn’t it make sense that, like any other skill, confidence can be trained and eventually mastered? Absolutely!
Confidence Is a Skill!
Now, you don’t have to master confidence, but I’m willing to wager that if over the next few days you make it a goal to strike up a conversation with a couple of random strangers… You’ll see significant changes in how you talk to people in a matter of DAYS!
That’s the secret! You need to train.
Nobody likes hearing it, but the only way to really become confident is to practice, just like any other skill.
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So here is my challenge for you today:
Strike up a conversation with a coworker or a stranger or two every day, you’ll see the changes it can make to both your life and your psyche almost instantaneously.
One more thing, if you’re worried about “not having anything to say,” don’t be. Start with a “hello!” and improvise from there! Conversations flow naturally, so don’t worry about it.
So get out there and just talk to people, you won’t regret it!
Xoxo,
Zane
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